The impact of Limiting Beliefs:
“I was dirty”………
This was the story I lived with for years after being sexually and physically abused. I felt everything was dirty and as a result stopped doing the things I loved.
Whenever we go through anything traumatic or life changing it leaves an impression on our lives and subconsciously creates a story, by which we live, think and act in a certain way.
If a loved one left us, we tell ourselves no one will love us, we aren’t worthy.
If we messed up an important presentation or interview we tell ourselves we are useless and don’t deserve these opportunities.
If we lost control of a situation we blame ourselves and make sure that never happens again by controlling everything in our life.
If we struggle to conceive we question what we did wrong and that we don’t deserve to be a parent, or that there is something wrong with us.
We try and justify how we feel.
We become a product of our thoughts.
As a result of suffering from abuse I felt dirty. I felt violated, sick and disgusting. Everything I did just felt dirty. Overtime that became my story – don’t do that, its dirty. Don’t receive pleasure – its dirty. I became obsessed with things being or feeling dirty.
Feeling dirty became my life.
It was only when I committed to change and went through counseling and coaching myself that I saw how this was playing such a part in my life.
We are brought up to believe certain things, whether it is a direct result of trauma, or our upbringing or from something we have experienced. Our beliefs form our reality and create the comfort zones will love to live in.
Recoginsing these patterns and understanding where they come from is a game changer, at least it was for me. I finally understood why I was behaving in this way and realised that as a result of this I was stopping so much coming into my life.
Once I identified this pattern I knew I could change it.
Saying it out loud to my Coach was liberating, I felt my body relax and I smiled. It all just made complete sense. The intensity disappeared, a wave of compassion came over me and I felt proud of myself for finally seeing it.
The truth is we don’t know, what we don’t know. You can’t expect to figure everything out on your own – sometimes you just need to talk to someone else and let your words come out and be heard by someone neutral, someone who has experience who offers guidance and support.
Life is general is confusing, everyday we hear about something awful happening to someone or something. No matter how hard we try to not let it get to us it does. It causes triggers, brings back memories and reinforces our doubts. It is only when we make ourselves aware of our patterns and understand that is it ok to think and feel like this, we are able to let it go and not let it control us and hold us back.
What stories are you telling yourself?
What patterns have formed as a result of something your couldn’t control?
Do you want to re-write your story?
Change begins the moment you choose to welcome it into your life and see it as empowering rather than scary. To create change you must be that change, you must let go of the old, release the scary, heal the hurt and push past fear.
Together we can do this.