Is your past affecting your future?
Mine was and on some days it still does, only now I am aware of it and know what to do to stop it…
Everything we have ever been through, impacts on our everyday life, not always consciously but it is there in the background affecting our decisions and impacting on our choices.
This was a lesson I learnt the hard way, just a few years ago.
One of the hardest things I have ever had to do is forgive others for the hurt they have caused me. I felt like I was giving in and making what they did to me also seem acceptable BUT that wasn’t the truth at all. It had got to a point where I needed to forgive them in order for me to let go and start living the life I wanted to.
Despite years of healing, therapy and coaching I still had one step to go and it was a step I resisted for so long as it just didn’t seem fair. Why should I forgive someone for changing my life and knocking the stuffing out of me – in some cases quite literally!!!! I battled with it for years until it got to a point where it was that or carry on living the life was living and punishing myself daily.
I was so fed up with living my life in my past, basing all my decisions on what felt safe, what wouldn’t hurt me and on what people like me should do!!!! I was bored, frustrated and bitter.
For years I have wanted to successful in my own right, to run a business, to make a difference and to face the world on my own. I was never good at being told what to do and struggled with conforming to the norm BUT my past was holding my back and stopping me from achieving my goals and living the life I so desperately wanted to live.
I reached a point where I needed to face up to that one last step I knew I needed to take and let it all go.
Everything we have ever been through leaves a mark in our lives but on occasions something will happen – big or small, and it will impact you on all levels of your life. Over time we start to build up beliefs and behaviors around there experiences and before long we have created a pattern that repeats itself over and over again to reinforce our beliefs.
As a result of this we create our comfort zones where we feel safe, know what to expect and on the most part work on an auto pilot basis not really having to think beyond our normal means.
The moment we try and challenge ourselves and step out of our comfort zone our EGO pops up and reminds us of all the reasons why we should be doing this and before long we go back to where we started
Letting go of your past and forgiving past experiences is in my mind quite literally life changing and if I knew then what I knew now I would have done it years ago. Letting go doesn’t make it right but what it does do is give you space to start to see things differently, to start again with fresh ideas and opportunities.
Trust me the moment I forgave my past I felt liberated, free and as if a huge weight had lifted.
I began to see things through clearer eyes, I felt lighter, more energized and finally ready to live my life. I didn’t realize just how much I was being dragged down by this anger and guilt until I gave myself permission to let it go.
At first the thought really scared me, what happens if I felt exposed? What is it changed who I am? What happens if it made me feel a failure, that I was giving in and letting them win?
The truth is, none of that mattered! The moment I let go, everything made sense to me, I could breathe easily, feel proud and feel happy.
In any growth and development work you need to let go of past experiences as they get in the way and mask your decisions.
Don’t let past experiences affect your future. Take control, stand tall and start afresh. You can do this.
love as always
Emma xxx