When I started to work on myself the biggest thing holding me back was my confidence, I had no belief or trust in my abilities and questioned everything I was doing.
I knew I needed to make changes and break the cycle I was in but I questioned whether I had the strength to do it.
Transformational work can be scary, it can leave us feeling vulnerable and exposed, unsure of what the outcome looks like while stepping out of our comfort zones for the first time!!!!
Self Worth is a very personal thing and it is so important to recoginse that we are all different and that no one is better than the other. We all deal with life differently based on our experiences, beliefs and our thoughts.
Working as a coach I have seem the impact trauma and other life defining events can have on people. It can really knock your socks off and leave you questioning everything around you.
One of the hardest transformations you need to make is to move from Fear to Love, Self doubt to Belief and from Not Deserving to Acceptance. Re-building your self worth takes time but gradually you will really start to notice a difference.
By believing in yourself and trusting in your abilities you can re-write your story, let go of the past and really start to live the life you deserve.
We often know what we need to do but will struggle with the HOW?
These are a few of the steps both my clients and myself have used over the years and each one has its own unique way to help you improve your self-belief and give you a nudge in the right direction. AS with anything it is all about finding what works for YOU, being consistent and showing up every day with the focus and drive to make the change.
Control of your life. Your life is yours and your alone, no one else can live it for you. ‘If you don’t like something take control and change it’. If you find the news depressing switch channels, if you are feeling low or frustrated meet up with friends who make you laugh. Take control and make a difference. If you want to change BE that change.
‘Life is 10% what happens and 90% how you respond to it” It is your choice.
I love this statement and it has helped me to get out of victim mode and really up my game on more than several occasions. The truth is we can’t change our pasts, we can’t control how other people react and treat us BUT we can control how we respond to each and every situation. we can either let our past or others control us or we can take ownership and decide for ourselves.
Surround yourself with Positive people. Negativity breads negativity!!! I am not saying you need to change your friendship circle but if you are spending more time with negative people the chances are you are going to come away from them feeling very flat and down yourself.
Surround yourself with people who inspire you, make you feel uplifted and believe in what you do. Read inspiring books, connect with other coaches, watch inspiring videos and learn from people you admire.
We all have people in our lives that leave us feeling amazing, that make us laugh, remind us of our WHY, encourage us and offer guidance. For me I turn to my Coach, my sister and my biz besties who all understand what I am going through and how to help encourage me to dig deep and keep going. Without them I would struggle – no doubt.
You don’t have to do everything on your own.
Reframe your thoughts. I love this step as it is a real game changer and once you get it, the shifts keep coming. Our minds are incredible and so amazingly powerful – in fact they are the most powerful resource you have BUT they can also play a part in keeping us stuck and holding us back. The truth is we really can achieve anything we put our mind to once we use it correctly.
Energy follows thought and everything you have in life is a direct reflection on what is going on in your mind. When faced with fear try and think of the outcome beyond the fear itself. Use NLP to help to change your perspective and to make subtle adjustments.
Choose LOVE over FEAR. Life is about choices and it is down to YOU what you CHOOSE to have in your life. When faced with fear, choose love. When faced with doubt choose love. When faced with our past choose love.
HOW?
See the good in every situation. Know that from everything you experience, feel and think you will grow and develop. There is a lesson in everything we go through.
Let the resistance go – I know you have it lurking around saying NO I am not doing that. I felt exactly the same. I was too angry to choose love, I didn’t want to see the good in anything that made me feel so shit and I struggled with this step massively.
The moment I gave up and tried it was the moment my life came together. I was tired of battling, pushing back and hating on the world. I wanted it to stop and it did. I started to see the strength I had, the person I had become as a result of my past, the courage I showed and bit by bit I started to feel thankful for the lessons.
Take your time with this step and persevere as it is a life changer not just a game changer an actual life changer.
Revisit WOW moments. Think back to previous successes, to a time when your experience success and did something that made you proud. We all have had them we just might have forgotten about them. Give yourself permission to REMEMBER.
Think back to a time when everything fell into place, when you believed in yourself, when you felt successful, worthy, loved, derserving. Get back into that zone – how were you thinking back then, what thoughts ran through your mind, how did you feel? How was your body language? How did you talk to yourself?
Take a moment to remind yourself of that person, step back into those shoes and connect with them feelings on self-belief and confidence
Feel Gratitude: Whenever you feel fear, switch it over to what you are grateful for instead. We all have so much to be grateful for but it is often overlooked as we focus on the things we don.t have or the things we don’t want.
I keep a Gratitude journal by my bed and write in it every morning. I allow myself to get lost in these feelings and really allow myself to feel proud of all that I have in my life.
It was this technique that helped me to fall pregnant after 3.5 years of trying. Instead of focusing on NOT being pregnant I focused on everything I had in my life instead. What I loved, made me feel loved, made me feel abundant, happy and content.
The following month I fell pregnant with Max.
There is so much to be grateful for – the bed you sleep in, air to breath, family, loved ones, time, health etc, etc.
Journaling: Getting your fears down on paper is important, because trying to think them through doesn’t work. You get caught in endless loops of negativity that only lead you further down the rabbit hole, and make your life miserable.
Release your emotions, put pen to paper and get everything out in the open, you will feel SO MUCH BETTER. Journaling helps you to rationalise emotions, release negativity AND bring positivity and dreams to life.
You can write about anything and everything and there are no rules.
When you are feeling funky, flat and doubtful write about the feelings you have, the thoughts running through your mind, the triggers that set it off. Get really clear on what is going on.
Hypnotherapy and Meditation: – two of my personal favourites. When you relax your mind and calm everything down you allow yourself space and remove yourself from chaos. The calmer you are the more rational you become and the easier it is to tap into your truth, your confidence and your belief.
Hypnotherapy can help you to get to the CORE triggers of your self doubt and help you to release them in a calm, safe, relaxed way. Self healing takes place and you can let go of past emotions and experiences.
Meditation allows you to remove yourself from the chaos and just allow yourself to think, tap into your intuition and get answers from within.
Download my FREE Letting Go guided Mediation to help you to release past experiences, old habits and limiting beliefs.
Get clear on what you WANT: It is so important in life to have goals –“if you don’t know where you are going, how do you know you have arrived? “ What is equally important is to make sure these goals are realistic – don’t set them too high and become demotivated when you don’t reach them, or don’t set them to low and not challenge yourself.
Get clear on what you want and don’t want and then write it down.
Often we struggle to focus on what we want because we don’t know what we don’t want. Once we know what we dont want we can really start to get clear on what we do want.
When I got made redundant I didn’t know what I wanted to do BUT I was really clear on what I didn’t want. Knowing that helped me to figure the rest out, I had a list of non negotiable, played around with ideas and tapped in on what felt right for me.
Monitor your progress regularly that way you can make any necessary changes you need to, to achieve your goals. Only 1% of people write down and review their goals. 80% don’t write anything down!!!! The choice is yours. Do one thing each day that moves you closer to your goal
Let things go and surrender… Surrendering to what is is powerful, because as long as we try to change what is, we are in war with reality. You just have to let things go. We can’t control our past, or other people. Don’t be afraid to let go of your past, of negative thoughts or experiences that are holding you back.
Letting go helps you to free up space to allow new amazing things into your life. If you are carrying around negativity and doubt you leave little room for much else.
Trust in the Universe and let them do their work.
Start each day with a fresh start, full of bright ideas on what you want to achieve.
Sometimes as hard as it is we need to recognise that we can’t do anything to change things and therefore we need to just let them go. It is all about choices. Choose to move on, move upwards and to achieve whatever we put our minds too
Remember you can achieve anything you put your mind too.
Love as Always
Emma xxx
P.S. If you are ready to take control and transform your mindset from fear to freedom I would love to hear from you. Join me for a 90 minute coaching intensive or book a call here to chat about other options.